Yet Another Chick Flick

I know this is completely random, but I feel absolutely awake and there’s this creative burst of energy and I just need to do something. I may not end up making this public, but if I do, I want it to be on record that it’s 5:30 in the morning and I’m writing this in room number 704 of Hotel Tip Top Plaza (who thought of this name?? Like, really man!!!) While bbm-ing my friends Madhu and Aditi (who, by the way, have decided to ransack a room in West End Hotel), and watching TV.
This gives me a topic to write about. How to make a perfect Chick flick! Please forgive spelling mistakes.
Now every Chick flick has a few things that have to be there or it would flop (they normally do anyway, but whatever…)

1. The Chick: Well, du-h!!! But I don’t mean it that way. There will be a Chick. But I meant one of these:

a.     Katherine Hiegl: She’s there in like every other Chick flick now. Honestly, I liked her better when she was a doctor on Grey’s Anatomy, working as a part time model to pay for her tuition. Too bad they killed her in the end (they did, right?? Or did she run away??? Ahh…well!!)

b.     Julia Roberts: How many Chick flicks has she come in??? I lost count 25 years ago…and that’s saying something…I’m 21!!!! The Runaway Bride, My Best Friend’s Wedding, Valentine’s Day, you name it, and you’ve got her in it!!!!

c.      Anne Hatheway: I like Anne Hatheway…a lot…but she really has to stop doing movies like Bride Wars, Valentine ’s Day and blah...same goes for Jennifer Garner too!!!

2.     The guy: He’s the Chick’s best friend, compassionate, sensitive, hot and has a secret. He loves the Chick (yeah…sure, you aren’t making it obvious at all). But he won’t tell her and the Chick is painfully unaware!!! Such roles normally go to James Marsden (loved him as Cyclops!!), Ryan Reynolds and the likes…you know, blonde hair, blue eyes, lean and all. The pretty boy, essentially

3.     The other dude: Of course…there has to be the other dude. The Chick is hopelessly, desperately in love with him. And makes an absolute fool of herself in his pursuit. He’s really hot, really rich and supposedly perfect. But normally comes across as aloof and blah. (The audience ends up wondering why she’s in love with him, after all)

4.     The sidekicks: The Chick has a sidekick who’s either drunk most of the time, is overly obsessed with her looks, is excessively promiscuous or is getting married. The guy has a sidekick who is usually his colleague/college friend or is the weird guy who thinks knows everything about how to get into the girl’s pants or is Indian. The other dude doesn’t have a sidekick. He’s just too cool to have one. The Chick’s sidekick and the guy’s sidekick, more often than not, end up hooking up. Big surprise there

5.     The competition: The Chick normally has some competition, who’s vying for the attention of the other dude too. While the Chick is plain, sweet and reasonably pretty, the competition is svelte, glamorous, confident and dresses weird. The Chick gets a massive inferiority complex, just looking at the competition.

6.     The moment: It hits the Chick right in the head that she loves the guy, not the other dude. But that usually is followed by the other dude kissing the Chick and the Chick realises that there’s no chemistry between them.

7.     The Fairy Godmother: An older woman, who inspires the Chick to go to the guy and tell him she loves him and all that. She’s normally a grandmother, a mother or whatever.

8.     The marriage: A Chick flick has to end with a marriage. It’s ALWAYS the Chick and the guy

9.     The WTH moment:I don't know how to describe this. But every chick flick has that one moment which makes you go "WTH!!! Where did that come from??" An example would be more suited here. In the movie You Again towards the ends, when Betty White meets her high school enemy and then steals her date for the wedding...that made me go,  "WTH!!!"

10.   The credits: The credits have to be cheesy…not the normal names flying by the screen…it has to be something weird like the guy and the Chick clicking pictures on their honeymoon or whatever.